Goodbye My Almost Lover
by Emmaline.Lily
Summary: Sometimes the hardest part is saying goodbye. set after season 1 episode "Isobel". Contains spoilers
1. Chapter 1

- _Set after season 1 episode "Isobel". Contains spoilers. _

**Goodbye My Almost Lover**

It was the loud bang of a closing door announcing Jenna's leaving for work that woke Elena from her sleep. She opened her eyes to find that her usually bright lit room was covered in near darkness, as if reflecting the melancholy mood of the stormy skies. The view outside her window was a violent battle of wind and rain, a foreshadowing of a less than perfect day to come.

The recollections of the previous night flooded her mind. Her mother, the invention, a revelation of love. She found herself questioning the truth behind Isobel's words. "He is in love with you." Unknowingly she found herself praying that he was not. History could not repeat itself. But before she could ponder the subject any further, her eyes fell upon a neatly folded paper on her bedside table. It was not there the night before. As she gingerly reached to pick it up, a sense of dread washed over her. The letter was from Damon.

_Elena, _

_What I'm about to tell you will not come easy. Last night your mother, Isobel, she said something that I never wished for you to find out. I know both you and my brother would prefer it if I denied her statement but I don't think I can. Not anymore. There comes the first time for everything and so has come the time for me to tell the truth. I am in love with you. I don't know how or when it happened, for it is against my very nature to feel the way I do, but there came a moment in which I realized that I would do anything for you. For the first time in my life I would not hesitate to put someone else's life before my own. _

_And this is why I have made my decision. I will be leaving Mystic Falls. Isobel was right when she said that having a Salvatore on each arm would lead to your demise. That is not a fate I wish on you. And so I have decided to remove myself from the equation. At last, my brother will be at peace. He will make you happy. This I know. Believe me when I say that I would not be leaving if I had any doubt of whether he could keep you safe. And in return, I am quite certain that you will continue to bring out the best in him. I know this because that you have done for me. You are the only person in over a century that has managed to reignite in me those last traces of humanity, ones I have believed were lost forever. You let me know, that maybe, just maybe I was not a monster. And for that I will be eternally grateful. _

A dry sob escaped Elena's lips as the letter slipped from her hands and fell unnoticed to the ground. Damon was leaving. That was the only thought that passed through her mind. His revelations of love came as a sort of security blanket, wrapping her in comfort and warmth, only to besnatched away from her with the devastating blow of his departure. For yet another time in her life she was losing someone who meant the world to her. In a way, Elena felt like she was losing a part of herself. A very important part at that.

Damon was leaving. Leaving Mystic Falls. Leaving her. She found that this thought broke her heart. And as she bend down to pick up his letter, to get a hold of the only thing that she had left of him, a solitary tear ran down her cheek.

_AN:Any comments?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Goodbye My Almost Lover: Chapter 2**

The way to the Salvatore boarding house was a long stretch of gravel road almost on the outskirts of the town, seemingly sheltered by the oak and maple trees of the Mystic Falls woods. The mansion itself stood strong and silent at the end of the path, with the doors locked and windows hidden behind heavy velvet curtains. Impenetrable to either light or outside intruders, this grand structure seemed to demand privacy and secrecy, a quality which no doubt only added to its irresistible atmosphere of mystery. In its eternal slumber, as if enchanted by some sort of spell, the boarding house never failed to steal the breath of those passing nearby. However, as the wheels of her car sped faster and faster towards the building, its majestic beauty was completely lost on Elena.

As she pulled into the driveway of the boarding house, she could not help but hope against all odds that she was not too late. She found herself praying that she has gotten there in time to see Damon before he left, in time to stop him from walking out of her life forever. She was sure that once she talked to him she could make him see how absurd and completely unnecessary his intention of leaving was. She wanted, no, she needed him to understand that nothing good would come out of his doing so. No matter what he thought, it would not keep her safe. After all, how could she be safe if he wasn't there to protect her?

Elena briefly recalled Damon's assurance of her being safe because Stefan would always be there for her. She didn't doubt Stefan. Really, she didn't. She knew that he would risk his life to save hers any day, but somehow she found no comfort in knowing any of this. Stefan wasn't as strong as his brother, as determined as his brother, or nearly as loyal as his brother. He wasn't Damon.

Opening the door to the mansion, Elena hoped that she would not run into Stefan because knowing that they have not made any plans to spend the day together he would without a doubt ask her why she was there. And no matter how hard she tried to think of one, Elena did not have an explanation. All she knew was that she needed to see Damon. To make sure that he would stay in Mystic Falls.

Stepping foot into the house, Elena hoped to see Damon in his usual habit of lounging in the living room, loud music blaring from the speakers, drink in hand. Much to her disappointment the room was immersed in complete silence, no sign of the eldest Salvatore anywhere. And yet despite his obvious absence, Elena refused to admit that that he was already gone. Hurriedly she made her way up the stairs and towards his room, pausing in front of the door for a moment.

"-Please", she prayed desperately, "Please let him be in there"

Seeing Damon's room was not what Elena expected. Looking around the place, she momentarily forgot her purpose of being there in the first place. Unlike the product of her imagination, it was open and bright, with beams of light coming through large, glass windows. In contrast to his brother, Damon kept his room clutter free and organized. In some bizarre way, Elena found herself thinking that the room described Damon perfectly. She could picture herself spending a lot of her time here. Despite her best efforts, Elena could not help but fall in love with it.

But no matter how perfect the room was, it was missing one important thing. Damon. He was nowhere to be seen. In a desperate attempt to hold on to some last shred of hope that he has not left after all, Elena began rummaging through his drawers and closets. They were empty.

Damon was really gone. This she could deny no longer. The only thing left of him was a black, silk shirt lying discarded at the bottom of the closet.

As picked the shirt of the ground and hugged it close to her body, Elena felt her knees give out beneath her as she tumbled to the ground. She felt as if her heart had been stabbed a million times and now it was slowly and painfully bleeding out in her chest. Damon was gone. These words rang in her head over and over again, consuming Elena in on overwhelming ocean of loss and despair. And it wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she realized that she had been crying.

The moment she felt the touch of a man's hand come in contact with her skin, a feeling of warmth spread over her. She could not resist the temptation of believing that Damon has changed his mind and decided to stay after all. The mere thought of having him close to her again, brought a smile to her face.

But her joy was short lived. When she turned around it wasn't Damon's face that was looking down on her. It was Stefan's. The disappointment was enough to break her already aching heart.

Somewhere in the distance heard Stefan's worried voice calling her name and asking her what was wrong. And as she broke down in tears once more, only two words escaped her lips. "He's gone".

_A/N: Second chapter of the story is up. What do you think? _


	3. Chapter 3

**Goodbye My Almost Lover: Chapter 3**

The lights in the upstairs bedroom of the Gilbert household where still on, despite the late hours of the night or the early hours of the morning. It all depended on how you chose to look at it. But for the frail form of a young girl laying on the white carpet of her bedroom floor, it made absolutely no difference.

Elena Gilbert was spending this night the same way she spent every single night since HE left. Seven nights to be exact. Seven nights and seven days. One hundred and sixty eight hours. Ten thousand and eighty minutes of starring into nothing, picturing HIS tragically beautiful face, blaming herself for HIS departure.

In the days after finding Damon's letter on her night stand and then his empty bedroom, Elena found herself in a sort of daze. She drove to school as if on autopilot, walked to classes without paying any attention to where she was going, and listened to her teachers without actually hearing a single word they said. Her life began to strongly resemble a sleepwalking mess of daily routines and basic necessities.

No one really knew what was wrong with her. All attempts made by her friends to find out what was the matter were rendered useless. It was a mutual, albeit a somewhat reluctant decision that perhaps all Elena needed was some time alone to figure our things for herself. Either way, it made little sense to try to fix something you didn't know was broken.

Things with Stefan were not going any better. Perhaps they were even worse. When he first found Elena in his brother's room sobbing uncontrollably and clutching a black shirt to her chest as if her life depended on it, a shirt which undeniably belonged to Damon, Stefan was lost for words. His attempts to comfort the girl he loved were made in vain. And as he heard her repeat his brother's name over and over again, in a voice barely louder than a whisper, as if that would somehow make the eldest Salvatore appear before her, Stefan began for the first time to question whether the feelings Elena had for him were as strong as he had originally believed them to be.

And so like everyone else he chose to give her time. He said it was to mourn a friend, but if you listened carefully enough you could hear the underlying message behind his words. He was giving her time to get over whatever it was she felt for Damon; time to make a choice. One fateful choice that would finally end years and years of hurt, heartache and betrayal.

Except that this choice has already been made. The last few days were a perfect testament to that. Unknowingly Damon had won her heart and her soul. She belonged to him now. How ironic that she only realized this now that he was gone.

And so just like she has done every previous night this week, Elena slowly gets up from the floor, walks to her clothing drawers, puts on Damon's black shirt, and makes her way towards her bed. As she gets under the covers the silk material of the shirt slowly caresses her skin. And just for a moment she manages to convince herself that it is Damon caressing her instead. She finds that this denial although quite unhealthy, is very welcoming and satisfying indeed.

_A/N: So its been awhile since I updated this story. Sorry about that. But now I know for sure in what direction I'm going to take it. So what do you think about this chapter? Thoughts?_


	4. Chapter 4

_- Here's another chapter of my story. Dont own any own of the characters (although I would really like to own Damon :P)_

**Goodbye My Almost Lover: Chapter 4**

The following morning Elena woke up to find herself quite disoriented. She was still in her room but for some reasons things were not the way she remembered them to be last night. No, something was definitely not right.

For one, her room was exceptionally clean, which in itself was quite odd since Elena hadn't had the will power to do anything since Damon's departure. Cleaning her room in that state of mind was simply out of the question. And yet at the same time the cleanness gave Elena a certain sense of déjà vu so to speak, as if she has woken up numerous times to find her room precisely this way.

But what left Elena most confused was the fact that she was no longer wearing Damon's shirt. In fact, as Elena cast a quick glance around her bedroom, she found that this particular item of clothing was nowhere to be found. She found that her body missed the black silk material caressing her skin.

However, that was the least of her problems. What she needed to focus on was determining how things came to be nearly opposite of what she remembered them to be last night. Elena knew for a fact that it was Damon's shirt she wore when she got under the covers of her bed last night. It was the only thing that kept her close to him. And yet it seemed to have simply vanished into thin air. She simply didn't not understand how this was possible.

Had she been so distraught over Damon's departure that she had completely lost track of what it was that she was doing? Had she been so absorbed in her loss that she had managed to so things without have any recollection of whatsoever of actually doing them? Has she underestimated the toll Damon's departure took on her?

No that wasn't possible. Sure she had been upset, but that was not a good enough reason to completely forget her life. She refused to believe that. She was not the type of girl to fall apart into little bitty pieces, even if her world did just happen to crumble. Elena Gilbert was made out of stronger material than that.

But then, how to explain the current state of things? How to explain that everything around her looked as if it was frozen in time? How to explain why it seemed as if what happened in the last couple of days didn't happen at all?

For a brief second Elena entertained the possibility that maybe it didn't happen. But how can that be? The letter. The heartbreak. They felt all too real. She was convinced of that and yet for some reason she couldn't get rid of that little seed of doubt that planted itself in her mind. She had to make sure.

She made her way to the dresser and opened the drawer where she kept Damon's farewell letter. It was gone. Just like his shirt. What were the chances of both of these treasured items being misplaced or possibly lost at the same time? Elena knew that they were slim. Her head began to spin as hundreds of thoughts flooded her mind.

Maybe someone took them? But who and more importantly why? And wouldn't she know if someone had been in her room while she was sleeping? Not unless it was a vampire, the voice in her head answered? But there don't vampires have to be invited in? So it wasn't a vampire then, it had to be someone else. But who?

Her train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the sound of her cell phone vibrating, letting Elena know that she just received a text message.

The message was from Alaric briefly asking her if everything went according to plan with the weapon and Isobel. It was only a few words but it told her everything she ever needed to know. Suddenly it felt as if all the pieces fell into their places. The puzzle was solved and the veil of confusion was lifted from Elena's eyes.

Last night was when she met up with Isobel. Today was the day after the painful revelation. No one broke into her room to steal her possessions, not a vampire, not a human. The letter was not in its place because Damon never wrote it. She wasn't wearing Damon's shirt because he never left it behind when packing his clothes. He didn't pack any clothes. Damon never left to begin with. Everything that she thought she felt and went through following his departure never happened. It was all just a dream.

_- Yup. She dreamed the whole thing up. Damon never wrote that letter and never left Mystic Falls. Only one chapter left. Thoughts?_


End file.
